Our suffering, our tests

We all know the story of Ayoub (as) he was tested with his wealth, his children, his health and his exterior health ie his physical appearance. He continued to thank Allah, the pain he endured for 7 years increased day by day but it was very little compared to the many years he had a blessed life with children, with land of crops, farms, fields.

He was ashamed to ask Allah for help and complain about his misfortune thus he beared his poor life. Eventually, he raised his hands to Allah –

“…And [mention] Job, when he called to his Lord, “Indeed, adversity has touched me, and you are the Most Merciful of the merciful.” (Surah 21:83)

Immediately Allahs blessings showered him and he was stronger than before, his skin cleared and became softer, his weakness left him that even his wife didn’t recognise him. Subhanallah.

Lessons extracted for this Ummah.

Gratitude. Patience. Forgiveness. Mercy.

Wisdom behind these tests are only known by Allah the Most Wise. Little do we know our sins could be forgiven for every pain that is endured…


Allah has the ability to make us sick and heal us, to make us poor and give us wealth. Grant us children and take them away.

Little do we know that our suffering will be the reason for our success in this life and the next life. Our conviction to Allah will prove that, we know He loves us, we know He is looking after us. We should also know that these tests are like gifts for us wrapped with His hidden Mercy, so beautiful that when we are rewarded Allah will bless us with more than what we imagined, more than what we asked for.

He is Allah. Lord of the Worlds.
The Most Gracious. The Most Merciful.
Never lose hope from His Mercy.

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Feeling generous this month?



Travelling three thousand miles for a spiritual journey which requires the greatest of strengths and Faith, I will be taking a pilgrimage into old territory – A real journey, with all its danger and beauty and you can join me by donating to those in need.

UK to Palestine. This Ramadan, from 23rd June – 7th July, 2016 I will be staying in Bethlehem to experience the same path of those People of Faith that came before me. I will be walking on the same land as the Palestinians whose presence will be naturally comforting and humble and those children whose smiles are radiated by God’s Mercy. I will also be visiting refugee camps and spend time with the widows and orphans out there. I will be the guest of Palestine.

Already I feel overwhelmed knowing that I have been blessed for this incredible opportunity and the ability to take as much as I can along with me to support those who do not deserve to be ignored, those who are truly in need of our help. Our Ummah.

“Every donation is an act of solidarity”

All contributions received will be taken greatest care of and I will personally ensure that it reaches the hands of the people it is intended to reach. All funds will be hand delivered and I will be documenting as much as I can with you all.

GoFundMe charges 5% of any donations; if you disagree with this you are welcome to send donations whether its sadakah or zakaat directly to my PayPal account. Please contact me by clicking the message icon.


I will be grateful for any donations.

Thank you (“,)

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Ramadan Mubarak 😘


This Ramadan will be a significant one. Many deaths have passed since the last one. It will be my first since Hajj. It will be my first in Palestine. It may also be my last. I have seen many people suffer; those who appear to be strong by face are suffering considerably inside. We all have a void inside us that only He knows how to fill it. To all the Muslims that I can reach out to in this message I ask for a small request, to make dua for our Ummah. For the Muslims in our community, our country and the world. The power we hold is in our hands, hands that we can raise and sincerely ask for His Mercy. He never leaves a prayer unanswered.

“You alone we worship, You alone we ask for help” – (Surah Fatiha)

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The winners

If you place Allah in your hearts and the rest of the world in your hands then you have succeeded in life.

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Sighting the Ka’ba for the first time

I was young when I received my very first present from my teacher; it was a token of appreciation for performing in front of a large gathering of Muslim sisters. I had a voice of an innocent child; sweet and pure. Alhamdulillah.

I placed my gift perfectly in the middle by clearing away everything from my shelf thus being the center of my attention. My gift was admired and observed many nights as I faded off to sleep wondering what it would be like when I‘m there, how will I react when I first see the Ka’ba, what will I wish for.

As years went by having faith amid life’s storm felt natural, I continued raising my hands in prayer asking for a chance to visit His House as that was the only place I wanted to be, even my dreams were blessed with such beauty and grandeur that it filled my heart with such happiness. I wanted this so badly that I begged for it to become a reality. Allah surely does listen, my invitation was accepted.

When the days came closer my feelings became stronger, I struggled to sleep in the midst of nights because I was extremely excited, overjoyed, all my life I have been waiting for this moment. I pictured nobody but myself standing in silence, in humility, like a slave in front of the Ka’ba. I pictured a sea of sweet tears rolling like never before. I pictured Noor shining on me and God speaking to me. I pictured a dream. My imagination was so strong that even I was choked by it. I prepared my outfit with great admiration. It is time. ‘Today I am going to my Lords House. Labbayk! He knows I’m coming, He can hear me!’ Lowering my gaze as I walked into the Masjid, I followed my brothers’ footsteps till I heard him say…

‘Bismillahi Allah hu Akbar.’ – In the name of Allah, Allah is the Greatest.

Gently, I lifted my head.

I was scared. My eyes dry, shaken with fear. My mouth wide open, I was speechless. My vision teeming – the beauty, the simplicity, it was perfection. I was staring at my hands, empty with nothing to offer. My well-rehearsed words all cluttered, scrambled up. I was stuck, like my soul just froze.

It wasn’t the same feeling that I imagined it to be, it wasn’t the same emotion that I built up all my life for when I will first see the Ka’ba. I was confused; it wasn’t what I dreamt of or what I pictured. As Muslims we have the ability to recognise that Allah alone is Lord of the Worlds, but as humans we have such limitations that our minds cannot comprehend His Might and Power and all His Attributes because it is so overwhelming. This is why it’s ‘He alone we worship, He alone we ask for help’, because it is He alone that’s worthy of worship and only He can help us when we are in need of absolutely anything.

It was only a few days later, from His Mercy, that my pathway was cleared and I was able to gently place both my hands and touch the Ka’ba. And that is when I spoke from my heart. Subhanallah

That moment has changed the way I now pray to Allah (swt)

That moment has changed my life forever.

That moment ♡

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His presence is near

If my servants ask you concerning Me: I am indeed close (to them). I respond to the prayer of every supplicant when he or she calls on Me

– Quran 2:186

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Labbayka Allahumma labbayk, labbayka la sharika laka labbayk. Inna al-hamd wal-ni`mata laka wal-mulk, la sharika lak

Here I am, O Allah! Here I am
Here I am, You have no partner, here I am
Verily all praise and thanks belong to You
Verily, all blessings belong to You
Verily, all sovereignty belongs to You
You have no partner

Muslims from all corners of this world will soon be preparing themselves for when they enter the state of Ihram. The Talbiyah, Labbayk echoing throughout their journey from the moment they leave their house, their loved ones, their status and wealth… Leaving everything behind, they are now the Guests of Allah – if they were to ask for anything Allah will give it to them. Subhanallah! If they were to ask for forgiveness Allah will forgive them.

My intentions for Hajj was made earlier this year when I felt like there was a void in my heart… Alhumdullilah I have everything, I have travelled to many beautiful countries and witnessed many of Allah’s Creations but what my heart really wanted and what I felt like I needed was to be close to Allah. I have heard many say ‘I am not ready’ and that made me believe that I must be the ‘perfect Muslim’ before I can go to Hajj too.

“I am not ready”

That was the perfect time for the evil whisperer to tell me I’m not ready yet; that I must get married first, my husband will take me, buy your dream car, buy a house, you have all these holidays you can go to first, you are still young. He has attacked me from all angles. He works in such deviating ways that made me believe something so good and beneficial is a burden! This is normal.

When your call to Allah’s House is written nothing will come in the way to destroy it and Allah will provide us with everything plus more then we can imagine to make it happen. Allah is the Provider of Rizq. Everything will be taken care of.

Remember when Ibraheem (as) was commanded by Allah to leave his wife and child in a barren land? Or when he was instructed by Allah to sacrifice his one and only son at the time? He faced so many tests and as a result Ibraheem (as) was given the title: Khalilullah, Friend of Allah. Subhanallah! Everything was taken care of.

We must have full conviction that Our Lord will provide us with all the means possible to get to His House, to keep us safe throughout the journey and to complete our Hajj.

He knows when we will go
He knows how we will get there
He knows who we will go with

More importantly Allah can see our intentions. That is what we have control over.

Ya Tawwabo Ya Muntaqeemo. The Accepter of Repentance The Lord of Retribution. I received tests after tests till my soul literally felt exhausted from everything and everyone. I have had to hold on tightly to the ropes of Allah and accept what was coming my way but more importantly I had to be extremely aware of my intentions and not to let my heart sway the wrong direction. I have had to pray 2 rakaat Nafil Salaah to help me when evil thoughts crossed my mind and to reassure myself as to why I am going to Hajj. This was my test. I know that once I have my Ihraam on every burden will be lifted from me… My focus will be only on Allah alone. My Creator.

Millions upon millions of Muslims will embark this incredible journey of a lifetime every year, the only difference between us all is our intentions, if we feel that it is not sincere repent to Allah. The one who performs Hajj for the sake of Allah with complete sincerity and obedience and during their Hajj did not engage in any sin or say anything indecent they will return like a newborn, pure of sin. Intentions are essential and our actions are dependant on our intentions – If our intentions are good our Hajj will be accepted and blessed. Insha’Allah!

Whatever hardship we encounter during this journey we shouldn’t be saddened by it and grieve, we must all think that we are in the path of Allah and we will be rewarded for all the time we are spending to please Him. My only advice I can offer to those who intend to complete Hajj is to read the Seerah of Prophet Muhammed (Peace and Blessing upon Him) and Ibraheem (as) to get a better understanding as to why Hajj is the last pillar of Islam.

Oh Allah, make it easy for every Muslim to complete their Hajj.
Grant us full understanding and wisdom behind this virtuous act.
Clear our evil thoughts and polish our intentions.
All the duas our Prophet (pbuh) and servants made grant it to us and accept it on our behalf.
Oh Allah, accept our worship, forgive all our sins and be pleased with us.

“Oh Allah, I ask of you all the goodness which Muhammad (SAWS) asked of, and I seek refuge in all the things from which Muhammad (SAWS) has sought refuge from. Only You are capable of helping us and your function is only to convey the message of the truth. There is no strength to refrain from sins, but with the protection of Allah, and there is no power to accomplish good deeds, but with the help of Allah.”

Oh Allah, please accept our Hajj.


Please keep me in your duas.

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