It’s difficult. It’s hard. It’s a misery. Feel like Giving Up. The brain tells me: It’s useless to carry on; it’s been five months now. Five months of frustration! Five months of confusion! Five months of weight loss?!… Possibly!
Just lose hope already, just GIVE UP!!!
The mind plays tricks.
What I have suffered in a short space, others may have suffered far worse, for too long. What I may perceive to be a very long time, others might not see it long at all. Time begins to slow down reality… For some it stops. You almost convince yourself that this is never going to end, that time is never going to pass. When we are down reality becomes distorted and it becomes difficult or even impossible to see the silver lining.
A negative mind will never give you a positive life.
Logic tells us that time ticks on… The nature of time is that it moves on and things change… We change… Situation has to change. It might get worse. But that will also change. Logic told me that in Time everything will get better!
So who controls time?
He causes the night to enter the day, and He causes the day to enter the night and has subjected the sun and the moon – each running [its course] for a specified term. That is Allah, your Lord; to Him belongs sovereignty. And those whom you invoke other than Him do not possess [as much as] the membrane of a date seed. (Surah Fatir 35:13)
The one who has absolute control over any situation is Allah.
I went through a rough patch and people started telling me ‘everything happens for a reason’ ‘Insha’Allah, things will get better’ ‘just be patient’… We’ve all heard that before… Be Patient! But nobody ever tells you ‘How to be Patient’. Patience is the Goal… There is no ‘how’ to get there… You just get there. Patience is not something that you do, it’s an acquired power. It’s not something that’s innate inside of us; it has to be nurtured… I have to build it.
So, I exercised patience… Recalled the misery… and the troubles I endured… then tried to become patient over it. Changing my bad thoughts to good and the word ‘patient’ started flashing eccentrically in my mind… Surely that’s not how it’s done. I had to do my research…
How should we acquire patience?
‘…”Be grateful to Allah.” And whoever is grateful is grateful for [the benefit of] himself…’ (Surah Luqman 31:12)
When we go through hardship and experience misery and depression and someone comes along and tells us ‘Be Grateful’ this should be our moment of clarity. Changing the mindset and focus on the good things in life… When we do that, who will we give credit to? Allah…. That will make us grateful… And when we become grateful, what becomes easy? Patience.
‘… If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]…’ (Surah Ibrahim 14:7)
When gratitude is not there, patience becomes impossible. Allah tells us in return he will increase us. Question is… Increase us in what?
Knowledge? Success? Wisdom? Children? Provision? Beauty? Happiness…?
We all need an increase in something because sadness is when something is depleted… But without gratitude we can’t move on with our lives…. We become high in maintenance… We become emotionally needy… We look for attention in the wrong places and deliberately fill that void with nothing but high expectations.
Being grateful to Allah trains us to seek personal fulfilment with less or even with no effort at all. It makes us humble and lowers our demands and expectations. There is something missing in everyone but only Allah knows best how to fill that empty vessel up for each one of us. We just need to be grateful to Him. The strings of lessons and wisdom attached in the troubles we face are truly astonishing… What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger… Never Give Up!